Remembering my 20s so I don’t forget this important decade of my life when I am older. My 20s were filled with full of shits and dramas but at the same time full of learning opportunities.
Making all the possible mistakes and learning from them; that is what my 20s are all about.” – Say Zhi Hao
I was officially 20 and serving my last year of National Service. Gonna ORD in December 2010. Unfortunately, my ORD date extended because I went to DB. I couldn’t control my temper well, got an argument with my superior and I wanted to stab him using a SOG (army’s multipurpose tool). I was officially blacklisted from my camp and have to post to another camp in June 2010. Army downgraded me from pes A to pes C2L9. Meaning, I can no longer carry firearms to fight for my country. I was very happy then but definitely not now. It was stupid of me. My actions were plain ridiculous and childish. The first big drama and mistake in my 20s.
I thought I was king after I ORDed. Nothing could stop me from achieving my big dreams which were to make ‘fast money’ and dating ‘fast girl.’ I told myself that I’m gonna make it big in life by the time I’m 23. 2 years seem like an eternity after I served NS so I thought it was an excellent idea to just take it nice and slow.
I got a part-time job working for my cousin in his music school from early February 2011 to October 2011. Everything was nice and he cordially invited me to his church somewhere in March. I hated church. I accepted his invitation nevertheless because I thought this could be a great opportunity to meet some pretty girls.
The bad news is there weren’t many pretty girls (though, I met a lot of amazing and wonderful aunties). Good news, instead of meeting pretty girls, I met Jesus Christ.
My life wasn’t immediately perfect after I knew Christ. In fact, I couldn’t see significant improvement then. However, when I look back now… it is just so amazing how much I’ve grown since that Good Friday.
2011 is the first major business failure which I started with my cousin. The business didn’t take off from the get-go. It was humiliating.
I have decided to start my own business. I thought going solo was the best option after all. During the process of working together with my cousin, an idea hit me quite hard. I quietly told myself that I’ll do this in my next endeavor and that is exactly what I did in the first half of 2012. I invested a total of $7,000 in the business. I had fun building the site, learned a lot about WordPress and internet marketing in general. But guess what? It failed again. But this time it took less time and it was less painful.
I licked my wounds and moved on. Before I started doing anything else, I traveled to Germany with Dawn, Seech, Hannah and my cousin for the Juko conference. It was my first time in Europe and I absolutely love it.
Seech, my cousin and I drove a rented Benz with Fretzo to Cologne before heading over to the conference. We thought we had all the time in the world so why not explore a fun city in Germany?
It was my first time driving on a limitless speed highway call the Autobahn. I’d be a fool not to seize this opportunity to drive faster than I could in my entire life then. So I gladly drove 180 km/hour to the horrors of my cousin and seech. Fretzo seems apathetic.
Our luxurious car broke down on the way to the Juko conference area after our side tour (forget exactly which part of Germany our car broke down) because Fretzo pumped petrol oil to a diesel operating car. Gosh! Fortunately, Samuel Ruck and a few brothers came to our aid and it was a hilarious episode watching Fretzo trying to suck the petrol oil out by using a mere pipe. This incident happened more than 7 years ago but I can still remember it so vividly today as if it just happened yesterday.
We arrived late to the first meeting and we 3 Singaporean brothers were duped the 3 musketeers. I can’t help but think why troubles always follow me wherever I go – even while on holiday.
This trip inspired me to study World War 2 at a deeper level. It is fascinating how the Germans rebuilt their ruined country from nothing and how they’ve had repented from the atrocity of the war.
This was the year when I was engrossed in putting my full-sleeve tattoo. I had a ‘mission’ and the first goal was to plan and execute my sleeve tattoo. I was extremely afraid of the repercussion, especially from my family and relatives.
In their eyes, I was no longer a bad boy but a changed boy. A full sleeve tattoo will inevitably force their opinions to switch back to my former self or much worst.
I knew I needed to do it and I needed to do it ASAP. However, I was too scared of the whole process that I procrastinate for close to 2 years (if you want to when I got my tattoo done, read on).
I would say that I’m someone who has a decent level of pain tolerance. But to put me through 40+ hours of nonstop torture is a whole new level for me. It kept me awake many nights just thinking about it.
Unfortunately, the physical pains were the least of my concern, I was more concerned about people’s thoughts of me. People in the church, future business partners, family, relatives, and friends. These were the real ‘killer-thoughts’.
Thinking back, it was stupid of me to keep worrying about what people will think of me. I reckon it was during this time that I also garner the notion of a “not-giving-a-fuck” attitude… which definitely serve me well in my late 20s.
Another important aspect of 2013 is when I first started my first profitable business in the watch industry. I remember that the site was launched in February of 2013. I can still remember very clearly what went on in my head then. After 2 failed businesses, it was relieved to finally make some money. I was riding on cloud nine. I was so naive that I thought I was invincible.
Another event that I truly miss in 2013 were times when I was the main organizer of a weekly in-house soccer game. It was nice playing in-house soccer with close friends on a weekly basis. We had a lot of happy memories playing soccer at Balestier. I have no doubt that I remember those soccer games with my brothers for a very long time.
I would consider 2014 to be the best year so far. I was the happiest, fittest and richest compared to the other years in my 20s. 2014 is the benchmark that I consistently go back and compare myself to.
There were so many milestones that I had accomplished in 2014, I will list them out as precisely as I can.
- I bought my Kindle Paperwhite, I dubbed this small investment to be the best investment I’ve ever made in my life.
- I read around 79 books in 2014. One of the greatest accomplishments in my life.
- I met a girl who introduces me to Cathy and Cathy brought me to Hope Singapore and she cordially invited me to join her LG.
- In case if you do not know, Hope Singapore is my home church today. If it wasn’t the encounter in 2014, I wouldn’t be where am I today.
- I frequently exercise throughout the year.
- Business and finances start to pick up rapid momentum.
- Went Paleo Diet for 3 months.
- Travel to Germany for 5 weeks.
- I challenge myself to reach out of my comfort zones consistently.
Unfortunately, this was also the year I became arrogant and naive. I thought I was invincible. I thought I was the best (still guilty). I thought no one could ever beat me especially life itself. So I thought.
2014 is also the year that started the downfall in the later part of my 20s.
- I thought I didn’t need God anymore, therefore, I backslid in 2015 and 2016.
- I was actively looking for one night stand to fulfill my sexual desires and fantasies. Dating fast women left, right and center. I didn’t care about their thoughts or feelings. It was all about me and what I wanted in bed.
- End of 2014, I had gotten into my first serious relationship. Unfortunately, I was blinded by all the glamours and dated a devil. She literally called herself a devil. It is no wonder our relationship didn’t work out. The worst thing was the relationship lasted 2 and the half years when it should be only 6 months top.
2015 is the start of a serious downfall.
It is also a year I got my full-sleeve done and got my first Rolex watch.
I started to restrain me from all church activities. I thought I didn’t need the fellowship and I didn’t need God. I could be my own man.
I took sex to a whole new level with my first serious girlfriend. I wouldn’t go into too many details. In short, I was a sex monster.
Business and finances continue to pick up in momentum but it didn’t matter to me anymore. Because no matter how much I earned, it wasn’t enough for my newfound life. I wanted more money and I don’t care how I get it. So long as I could make money, any endeavor would do. In fact, the faster the better.
I went back to be a bookie in 2015. I made money but looking back today, it was the worst kind of money I could ever make. I don’t wish to go into too many details here again. Just say, I used dirty tricks to make very dirty money. The money that made me richer destroyed peoples’ lives. I am certainly not proud of what I did.
Also, I gained a lot of weight in 2015 due to overeating and lack of exercising.
I couldn’t recall any particular event that truly stands out in 2016. It is a monotonous year. I bought my second Rolex in 2016 but that’s just about freaking it.
Life continues to fall to the point when each passing day was just each passing day.
It was a mundane year throughout the entirety of 2016. I got into gaming, smoking, gambling, and drinking again. If this was my definition of ‘being my own man’ then I would gladly return to 2014 and take a different route.
Life without God is truly lifeless.
I regretted the thoughts of leaving God and being my own man back in 2014 which has ultimately led me to this downfall. I hated my life to the core in 2016.
Despite hating 2016, there was one big event worth mentioning and that was the sale of my first successful online business.
I took the first big step in early 2017 to return to church. I met Cathy again and she invited me to join her in the west for LG.
I joined her for a couple of months, forgot exactly how many months though. Let’s just say that it was around 3 months.
After 3 months I told her I’d prefer the east otherwise driving will be a problem. Her LG starts just before the peak period. Highways were usually jammed then.
That’s when I met my current LG. I am grateful to be back in church.. not just any church but Hope Singapore.
I still remember the first time I entered the purple-chairs’ auditorium that year. I got a nostalgia from 3 years ago because it was thus far my best year. The only odd difference I felt as I had a sleeve tattoo now. It was and still is a weird feeling to have a full sleeve tattoo in church.
I dropped all illegal activities, tried to quit smoking, drinking, etc. again and I went back to doing business online (this is when I started H&R).
2018 is practically the year of H&R.
My time, focus and energy were focused on building the site up from nothing.
To Have over 1,000 articles on the site in less than a year is not an easy task. Needless to say, I felt a sense of achievement.
However, by focusing so much on quantity, I neglected quality, therefore, the site didn’t do as well as I’d expected. Time has changed since I first started internet marketing. Quantity can’t do shit anymore.
I would consider 2018 the year of ‘Malaysia’ because I traveled there so frequently for short trips. The most memorable ones were January Genting with bb, August JB trip with LG and October birthday trip with bb.
The best way to describe 2018 is like riding Roller Coaster. Because the highs were surprisingly high and the lows were extremely low.
It was up and down in perpetual cycles.
I could say that ‘boring’ is non-existence during this period.
The first half of 2019 was also focused on building up H&R.
Unfortunately, it came to a point that I have to forsake the site. If you’re keen to know the reason check out this post.
Firing my team members who were with me through thick and thin was one of the worst experiences of 2019.
2nd half of 2019
After a mix of a little daydreaming, planning and praying. I decided to start a site on addiction and if God is willing, I want to focus on building my career around this site for as long as possible.
I kick off by focusing on quit smoking first and make it the best I could ever be.
In the future, I might venture into:
- Quit pornography
- Quit drinking
- Quit gambling
- Quit unhealthy relationships
For now, I’d consider this site as my calling. Whatever happens in the future, I don’t know. All I know is just focus on doing my best today to help as many people as possible.
The biggest win in 2019 at the time of writing this post on 1 July 2019 is the publication of 6 pillar posts and 1 article.
- How to Quit Smoking: 6 Common Ways to Stop Smoking (METHODS)
- Quit Smoking Timeline: What Happens When You Stop Smoking (BENEFITS)
- Nicotine Withdrawal: The True Symptoms of Quitting Smoking (TRUTH)
- Nicotine Addiction: Why Do We Enjoy Smoking So Much? (EXPLAINED)
- Best Way to Stop Smoking: Quitting Doesn’t Have to Be Difficult (TIPS)
- Will Life Be Boring or Different After We Quit Smoking? (POSSIBLE)
- Debunking 4 Commons Myths of Smoking (FACTS VS MYTHS)
- Cold Turkey: The Danger of Using Willpower to Quit Smoking (MY STORY)
Accomplishments so Far in 2019:
I am going to focus on building my list, backlinks and write more content for the website for the rest of 2019. It is good to see that I already have 30 subscribers with so little traffic at the time of writing this.
The ultimate goal for the remaining half of 2019 is to create an online course on how to quit smoking. I want to have the course up and running by November 2019. I want to create the BEST and MOST HELPFUL course I could ever create.
I am not gonna compare with anyone but myself. I am gonna give it my very best effort to help people to quit this ugly addiction.
My 20s were full of shit, I had only 1 extremely good year. The rest were mediocre or downright sucky.
I am desperate to make my last year of the 20s the best year of my life! I am not sure if I can achieve it but I am gonna give my best nevertheless.
Thanks for reading.
Jeremiah Say Zhi Hao